In life, you always get a choice. A choice to do something or not, to go somewhere, to start something, to do anything you want. With a mental illness I find that we still get a choice, but it’s a thousand times harder to make the right choice. You know what you should do, what you want to do, and what you’re going to do. It’s ironic because we would do anything to feel better, but some of the choices we make hinder us the most. Tonight I had to choice to do something productive or to stay in my bed for hours. I chose the latter. I know that getting up would have helped me more, but the choice I made put me into a funk. This is where our strength needs to kick in I guess, where we need to push that much harder.

Can we really choose to be happy? I see quotes saying you can choose happiness and stuff like that. I understand you can choose it if you don’t have a mental illness but I think people who do have one look at it and feel bad about themselves, because happiness sometimes can feel out of your control. It certainly has for me.

Yours Truly,



3 thoughts on “Choices

  1. It’s really understandable to just stay in bed for hours. We’re depressed. What matters is the small things we do to improve ourselves like listening to our psychiatrist/psychologist, the willingness to accept that we are mentally ill like how other people accept that they’re diabetic. “Can we really choose to be happy?” Happiness comes once in a blue moon for some of us and that’s what makes life somehow worth it. My advice for people like us is that we should never choose or force ourselves to be happy because like what you’ve said here “Happiness sometimes can feel out of your control” and it’s true. And most of the time people like us would get even more depressed because they’ve fallen out of happiness once again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s impossible to chose to be happy. For people without mental health problems. Everyone sometimes feels shit. Everyone sometimes feels great. The only difference with mental health problems is the shit part lasts longer, does deeper and can be more distressing and dangerous. You get used to the shit part and yer, happiness can make you feel out of control because sometimes it’s easier to learn to be ok when sad if that’s what effects you most.

    Sometimes, everyone picks the least helpful option. And I mean everyone. Staying in bed might not help, but sometimes that’s all a person can manage.

    For me at least, I don’t strive for happiness. I strive for a normal range of emotions I can deal with like everyone else. It’s tough and there’s no getting around that. Just remember, no one is constantly fine. It’s not a choice. No one always takes the right actions to improve their mood.

    I struggle a lot with getting to a place I can function like other people, but try to remember that no one is always ok. It might be harder for you, but it isn’t a choice and it’s ok to feel whatever it is you feel. Emotions are regulated by unconscious actions within the brain. Working out how to deal with them, how to have less intrusive negative emotions etc. is important. But you didn’t chose it. It’s not your fault.

    And it’s so difficult, but I live in the hope that at some point, I’ll figure it out. Just don’t believe you chose to not be happy. That’s on neurotransmitters and your limbic system and you can’t change that.

    Sorry if this sounds miserable. I’m hoping it comes across hopeful like I mean it to.

    Ellie x.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this, it came across beautifully. I as well am not trying to achieve happiness, but to just be ok with experiencing all these emotions. Thanks so much for this post:)


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